Surface and Boundaries

Surface

The surface of an organism is where sensation (and therefore pleasure), and contact with others takes place.

On the one hand, the surface can refer to an opportunity to conceal the core. However, a 'mask' is really just a false covering (surface) on the real surface. 'Masks' can fool others at times but they cannot interact with others sincerely. An observer who is more alive can discern the true state of things.

On the other hand, it is only possible to know and love others through the surface. A healthy surface is expression of a solid core made possible by the more or less unobstructed flow of feeling. A common reason for a deceptive mask is shame felt about the real surface, but a surface that is fully connected to the core does not engender shame.

The task in regaining feeling and purpose is often one of first dispensing with masks, then secondly bringing life and emotion to the surface. It is not enough for the core to be strong or noble, the surface must reflect the core. This is a lesson in particular for creator and communicator characters.

Boundaries

In the 'self-help' culture, boundaries are often described as mental rules of engagement to prevent exploitation. Having been exploited is believed to be grounds for a label of 'bad boundaries.' There are many behavioral strategies that develop around the task of coping with interpersonal risk. One strategy is to avoid contact. Another is to plunge into symbiosis. One strategy is to analyze other people's behavior for clues of safety and willfully adjust interactional distance. While this latter risk-analysis strategy is strongly endorsed culturally, it tends to fall apart in the face of strong feeling. A large part of the 'bad-boundary experiences comes from projecting onto someone what we want them to be and then finding them not to be that thing. This type of projection defeats risk analysis anyway.

Functional boundaries are a biological and energetic thing, however. Of course boundaries are protective but they are also relational. Bad boundaries are boundaries that are are faint in a biological sense. Most indirect behavior comes from the state of weak boundaries and the strategy to protect oneself some other way. Contact with boundaries of others are meant to be felt. Bringing expression and feeling strongly to the surface provides a natural boundary that has the advantage of being clearer where feeling is strong.